Site overview:
I am Research Study Coordinator of the HABits Lab, where we apply wearable sensors and machine learning to problems in behavioral medicine. I also study the social and political psychology of blame with Dr. Kevin Carriere at Washington Jefferson College. Previously, I studied group decision making under Dr. Scott Tindale at Loyola University Chicago. I am very interested in cognitive science and am currently applying for graduate psychology programs matriculating fall 2023.
Click the 'Research' tab to see my research papers and media.
I write articles about things I am interested in. They sometimes overlap with my research work, but are
generally unrelated to it. I mostly publish to Phenomenautica, a digital magazine I created with the goal of
focusing on unusual stories. It is inspired by the Associated Press' Oddities section.
Click the 'Essays' tab to read selected articles from Phenomenautica. To see every publication, click here to go the Phenomenautica home page (hosted on Substack).
I write for Hard Money Magazine, a satirical news site focused on economics and politics. It is essentially a
parody of the Wall Street Journal. I also write parodies and comedy sketches.
Click the 'Humor' tab to read my Hard Money articles, parodies, and sketches.
I've written several poems over the years. Some were published in Diminuendo & Cadence, a student-run fine arts magazine at Loyola University Chicago.
Click the 'Poetry' tab to read selected poems.
I was an audio engineer at SoundVault Studios. I make a lot of instrumental music, most of which are beats designed for rappers. They also make a nice background playlist for working or studying. If you are a vocalist and want to record a song over one of my tracks, please reach out!
Click the 'Music' tab to listen to tracks I have made (embedded from SoundCloud).
I write code here and there for various reasons.
Click the 'Code' tab to see some of my Github repositories.
Economic & Political Satire
There's nothing down here, but I admire your web-browsing diligence.
"Panels"
Towards the horizon
the far-sighted near,
and despite what I've heard
I've continued to hear.
The law of the letter,
its shifts as you read,
and if memory serves
then the check comes at speed.
The time that was saved,
spent pencils on dread,
so the spirits I lift
could get through to my head.
With holes in the center,
the edges don't crack,
and I got what you mean
so you can't have it back.
"Travel"
It was the 21st Century, with a resolve undiminished
Traveled a party on a quest never before finished
The quest was to reach an uncharted location
Onwards pressed a swoosh, an elephant, a golden arch, a vault and a donkey
Towards world domination
At a superficial village, the group's pace fell like Prancer
Due to a common man, who would not leave without answers
He confronted the swoosh first, and proceeded to say,
“What makes you better than three stripes or UA?”
The swoosh stammered, his response anything but fluid
“W-well my development is relevant even the fellow in yellow agrees,
The other two are inferior, support me, just do it,”
The man disappointedly shook his head
And decided to talk to the golden arch instead
“You claim to help kids, to put a good light on you,
But all you give them is a swollen abdomen and type 2.”
The arch was familiar with this particular accusation
And replied, “If you don’t like me, just please stay away, kid,
I’ve never forced anything on anyone, just face it.”
The man glared him in the eye and stated “That’s what I thought.”
Shook the arch off as well, and moved onto the vault
With a fiery anger, the man’s face was covered
For he found this entity more sinister than the two others
“Your business is to ruin lives with a smile-“
He was cut off by the vault who said “I violate no law,
And therefore we will never face a trial.”
The man was disgusted and said without patience
“Worldly worth is not defined by legislation.”
The elephant spoke quickly, and wasted no haste saying
“I am moral to death, protect life, all while praying.”
The man was not impressed and fired back with distress
“Your wooden T is not a pass to walk on those you perceive as less,
You shun change like disease, for that, you I detest.”
The elephant boiled with rage and roared with anger unsurpassed
The man shoved him aside and confronted the ass
The man encountered the donkey to make his demands
“You currently reign the land, and you let it get out of hand.
Changes you promised, you clearly did tell
A nation of people boldface lies just to falsely empower yourself
How can you trap us all inside this living hell?”
The donkey flashed a smile, half savior, half menace
And with words cold as ice he replied “Because you let us.”
"On Character Flaws"
Few sights can conjure
Such anxiety and dread
As the wind peeling back the edge of a leaf
You have but just turned over.
I’ve always been one to fight the feeling
My leaf is secured to the ground
With adhesives
But my flaws are not chlorophyll on an oak leaf
Rather they are sharpie on loose leaf
Through backwards margin bleeds the ugliest qualities.
Like a bad tattoo
All my flaws leave to appreciate
Is a dull nostalgic warmth
Accessible through memories of the era
When my mistakes were amusing
And caused negligible damage.
Now
I helplessly watch myself err
I search for excuses in the DSM-5
I search for pride in reality television
I find that if given the option,
I would decline to read my own biography.
Well, maybe I would leaf through it.
"Universalists"
To the universalists I say,There's nothing down here, but I admire your web-browsing diligence.